LFar and the local bike shop

I'm pretty interested in bike maintenance.

Okay, full disclosure because my sisters are probably going to accuse me of being a poser (they always do that, and it's kind of good because it makes me be honest but it's also annoying because I have to provide caveats to 50% of the statements I make around them), so full disclosure: I am INTERESTED in bike maintenance. Not "I am terrific at it" or "I am vastly knowledgeable" but, "I am interested."

So my lovely mountain bike (which needs a name, yikes!) kind of had a rusty chain (I rode it in the winter) plus it was making a weird noise upon rotation of the front wheel (out of true?) so I decided to take it into the local bike shop.

First things first. 90% of all bike shop employees are incredibly attractive. It's a universally accepted fact. Am I right? So here is the conversation that went on in my head:

My socially acceptable side: So um, let's shower, hey? You haven't showered since yesterday morning
My rational side: UHHHH BUT IT TAKES SO LOOONG.

SA side: Well, okay. Maybe do something to that hair? It's literally bed head.
R side: Quest-ion-nay... what are you suggesting?

SA: mmm, maybe a quick brush, or -
R: or a headband? WHATEVA.

SA: Okay, um, how do you feel make up. A touch of bronzer? You're especially pale since you're sick.
R: Nay can do. It makes my face look dirty.

SA: please brush your teeth at least
R: jjake.

(Slowly yet surely, my two halves turn out to be Jake and Amir)

So I get to the bike shop. Everybody is hunky, as expected. I try to kind of show off, but conversation tends to go this way:

Me: So uh, not sure if this is an acronym or a word because I've only seen it used in IM, but.. "S.R.A.M"? is the brand I want?
Bike Shop Boy: Sram.

Me: Yes, correct. Sram. Always seems to be written in capitals, hey? Heh-heh. Sooo the 900 series? Like uh, the 910 or something? Solid links?
BSB: Your bike has 8 gears in the back. I think you want an 800 series.

Me: Ah, correct again. An 800 series will do just fine.

So that guy gets to work on my front wheel, and I strike up a conversation with another employee. We talk for a bit about different types of chains. He uses the term "nickel-plated" and I ask what that means, he nicely explains. He later uses the term "heat treated" and is about to explain what that means but I haughtily interject that I know what heat treatment is.

Regretting my interjection, I change the topic to degreasers. Things are going fine until,

Me: ... and then I'll scrub down the cassette with degreaser, then just-
-a hesitation-
Him: lube it up?
-a really weird and awkwardly prolonged eye contact-
Me: right. Well I'll just take this one then. Gotta go.

I don't know how it suddenly got so awkward. He probably didn't even notice that I got awkward. Why do I make everything awkward? I think I've spend 30% of my social life being slightly uncomfortable.

Anyway, what I'm saying is that I got home, scrubbed and re-lubricated my gears, and it was really fun. The end.

Living the dream

Yesterday I had to go to the on-campus clinic to get my throat looked at. It was the most quintessential "university life" experience that I've ever had.

The hallways of the health services building are blanketed by bulletin boards annoucing various health facts that students should know. While waiting to see the urgent care nurse I learned all about nutrition, and almost picked up a brochure called 101 Health Breakfast Ideas because... 101? Okay so there's maybe like 40 types of cereal, and 10 ways to make eggs. That's only halfway! I guess you can make combinations and permutations out of inclusions of bacon, sausage, and ham. But still. 101?

While waiting to see the doctor I learned all about tattoos and genital herpes. They shared a wall. I'm not sure why. They always use such attractive people in the posters about genital herpes.

While waiting to get my lab results, I learned all about underage drinking. A big poster asked me If I Knew.... That some people feel like they have to drink to be cool? That it's okay to say no if you'd rather do homework? Real friends will respect your decisions.

In addition to these posters, I also got a talk from the doctor upon being prescribed penicillin ("it can reduce the effectiveness of oral contraceptives!" "got it." "NO REALLY, IT CAN") An abbreviated version of the conversation goes somewhat like this:

Doc: So you should inform any of your sexual partners over the past week that you have strep throat
Me: That list has zero people on it
Doc:... Okay. Well.... you know, if there were...
Me: No sweat, doc...

I think my favourite part of the day was getting my prescription at the pharmacy next door. Student Coverage is pretty great... it cost me 62 cents! What?

Party like it's 1999

I'm having a party on Friday with the theme of "1999". Basically I except to see lots of people wearing Northern Getaway, karma beads, Baby G watches, B.U.M equipment, tapered leg jeans, references to Napster, tear away pants, butterfly clips, etc.

So we have to make an awesome play list, right?

So far, the plants include:

• early Brit Brit
• Shania Twain
• Eiffle 65
• BSB
• Spice Girls (later stuff)
• Early Justin Timberlake
• Enrique
• Aaron Carter
• Prozac
  
• S Club
• Brian McKnight
• Venga Boys
• Eminem
• Pearl Jam
  
• Hanson
• The Moffats
• 98 Degrees
• Savage Garden
• The Verve
• Offspring
• Some Green Day
• Some BNL
• Usher
• Nelly
• Puff Daddy
• early Jay-Z
• Notorious B.I.G
• early Daft Punk
• No Doubt
• OTown
• B44
• Shaggy
• TLC
• Aqua
• Vitamin C
• some Red Hot Chilis
• Smashing Pumpkins
• Beastie Boys
• Sublime
• early Avril
• Trebel Charger

That list makes me incredi-nostalgic.

What else were you listening to almost 10 years ago?

No Bad Habits!

Jack and Laura made a fort in the family room this weekend. Jack decided there needed to be some rules. Well, one rule, really: No Bad Habits.

He made this sign:
and I interviewed him for more information:

Bad Habits from Lisa on Vimeo.

Stay tuned for more tent videos!

Young at Heart: movie review

I saw the movie Young at Heart earlier this week.

You have to see it. I cried twice and spend the rest of the time being so happy that I emitted little giggles here and there.



You're going to fall in love with every single chorus member.

Just so so so so so wonderful.

Like seriously, watch this music video:


Now find out where it's playing near you and go watch it!

I don't care how you met my mother

What's with everybody loving How I Met Your Mother?

That show is mediocre. It's not terrible, but it's like Friends: I'd watch it if it was on, but would never seek it out.

Okay, so I only got through the first 6 episodes of season 1. But then I realized that I was only watching it because a) Everybody told me I'd like it, b) It's fun to say HIMYM (Him-Yim), and c) because I wanted to watch the ones with Britney Spears but I hate not starting anything from the beginning.

But the acting is insincere and the characters are one-dimensional. The combination of terribly obvious humor devices and an incredibly annoying laugh track make me feel like I'm being force-fed a food that looks/smells delicious but tastes awful. Like the solid equivalent of herbal teas. Laugh tracks are so lame. They slow the pace down, and using them is like telling the viewer, "you're probably stupid, so here, we'll tell you when to laugh." None of the comedy shows I've ever really loved (The Office, Arrested Development, Scrubs) used laugh tracks. Come on, HIMYM. I refuse to be treated like an idiot.

What I'm basically looking for here is a "sing it, sister" because I don't know of anybody else who doesn't like this show. My entire class is in love with it. I've trying using the goog to find similarly disinterested people, and the closest I could find was somebody who doesn't like how low HIMYM's viewer numbers were dropping in 2007. In the WHOLE INTERNET, I couldn't find somebody who doesn't like HIMYM. And if it doesn't exist on the internet, it doesn't exist in life. Everybody loves it but me.

So, whoever googles "HIMYM isn't even all that great" and stumbles upon my blog, WELCOME. I wrote this so that an anti-HIMYM piece of writing could exist on the inter tubes. I did this for you. I did this for me. I did this for us.